An unhelpful Guide to your 20’s Part 1

The decade of hostels, no money & adventures


“21” I remember thinking on the morning of my 21st birthday

“I’ve reached the peak of my existence”

If only I knew how wrong I was,

I’m 27 at time of writing, sitting on a bus to Arequipa after hiking for 2 days in Canyon De Colca in Peru

Over the last 7 years, I’ve done various things

  • Worked in the corporate world
  • Travelled to 35 countries and half of Australia 
  • Spent time with friends 
  • Ran a marathon 
  • Got some tattoos
  • Lived out of home 
  • Got a degree
  • Started BJJ 
  • Started learning Spanish 
  • Became an Italian Citizen 
  • Made new friends
  • and some other cool stuff along the way too

Along with some less memorable lessons, mistakes and various life changes

Impossibly, Each year seems to have been better than the last,

At each birthday I look back to the previous year and all that happened and think

this year surely can’t be better

invariably, it has been

For me, it has been the maturing, growing and realisation of who I am as a person & what I want my life to be like

And realising you have complete control over it

Your 20s are a defining decade in the context of your life

You’re out of your teens, new responsibilities, privileges & opportunities await

I noticed around the age of 24 there being a shift in really being an adult

Sometimes, however, they can be anything but enjoyable.

Being overwhelmed, anxious, and uncertain are common during this period

The last 5 years that have transpired globally have only highlighted this further

With more uncertainty on the horizon

It’s easy to lie on your bed at night and worry until the morning

I thought I’d create a guide for anyone in their 20s looking for guidance on what’s to come

Or what you can do to make the most of this wonderful decade

These things have helped me significantly over the past 7 years

This will be a multi part guide to getting through your 20’s ready to take on the rest of your life

You aren’t meant to have all the answers at this age

In fact, as you get older you’ll realise no one really ever has it all worked out

It’s all apart of the journey

  1. Travelling & backpacking

Let’s begin with one of my favourites

Nothing has taught me more about myself or the world than jumping on a plane, car or train and visiting a faraway place

Traveling in your 20s is like your concession ticket to see the world

You won’t have the money to go on a luxurious holiday

But you will have two very important things

Time & Energy

Time to take things slow, explore places thoroughly, or extend your trip by another week

Energy to hike a mountain, sleep on an overnight bus & sleep in a hostel with 11 other people in the room.

They are things you may take for granted, but they are very important.

There have been many occasions where I’ve slept on the floor of international airports, walked drivable distances & eaten health jeopardising meals to save a few dollars

These aren’t necessary for an adventure, but sometimes they are necessary to absorb when you’re younger

Traveling has also helped me with the following:

Self-confidence & communication

In my teens, I was unbelievably anxious in social settings

The thought of making a mistake in front of someone (particularly if they were a girl) completely frightened me

Forgetting people’s names, asking for something or just having to interact with a stranger all kept me staring at the ceiling at night

Besides the exposure therapy, my parents helped me with

Traveling was the best way I ever learned these skills

If you’re standing at Sao Paulo bus station with 10,000 other people and you’ve got a bus to catch in 15 minutes & you’re at the wrong platform

What choice do you really have?

You mime, point & butcher whatever native language you’re speaking, and work your way out of it

The confidence this has given me in my everyday life has been immeasurable

on the communication side

When you’re meeting 1-30 new people almost every day

You’re going to have a few conversations

Some will make you laugh, some will make you think & some might make you never want to speak to that person again

But getting that many reps in along the way

This means you’ll have no fear of speaking to anyone, ever

Perspective

Growing up in Australia with two loving parents in a nice neighbourhood

It’s hard to argue that I’ve ever had any real trials and tribulations imposed on me by my environment

Sure there are things that have been hard or annoying

But nothing has impacted my day-to-day so severely that my life was completely turned upside down

One of the reasons I love seeing different parts of the world

Is the perspective it shines on my own life

Over my years of traveling

I have seen the living conditions of people living in places like Vietnam, India & Brazil that you can’t believe growing up in a first-world country

These people by complete chance in the genetic lottery are born into an environment that is completely stacked against them

But with all the same goals & dreams as you or me

It has always made me rethink how I judge my own issues & has allowed me to be more grateful for the things that I have in my own life

International friends & Human connection

The people you meet traveling are & can be some of the coolest and best friends you ever have

By complete chance in timing, location & fate, you’ve ended up meeting someone from the other of the world

Most of the time with so much in common you can share stories, laughs & unique things about where you come from

But it makes you realise how similar we all are

Despite everyone living busy lives, starting businesses, families, and new lives.

Everyone is really just flesh & bones with hopes & dreams for the life they’re living

and it’s refreshing getting to hear about the lives of people you meet along the way

And if you stay in touch with people, you might even have a place to stay on the other side of the world

I met a man named Varun on a trip to Vietnam in Hoi An back in 2019

We had an amazing few days together, talking about food, life & our enjoyment of cold Vietnamese beers

He was a chef originally from Mumbai, who’d taken the trip to find inspiration for his restaurant back in India

As we said goodbye, he offered for me to stay with him whenever I came to Mumbai

We stayed in touch & 3 years later I went to stay with his family in their apartment

He took me to his restaurant & we ate a world-class southern Indian style meal

In today’s age, it has never been easier & harder to be connected

But to be able to stay in touch with these people that you meet

and reconnect after a period of time

Is something pretty cool

2. Finding balance

You’ll learn to juggle many different responsibilities as you go through these years

Time for friends, learning, working, socialising, fun, and experiences

The schedule can get pretty filled up

It’s important to not try and do everything at once

Here are some areas of my life with ways that I’ve found balance within them

Work-Life Balance

You’ll spend a lot of time in the professional sphere over your life

Whether its for someone else or yourself

Having a career is essential for having purpose as well as an income

For me work is a very seperate entity to the rest of my life

The more I can enjoy a life outside of work, the more I actually enjoy working

Here are things that have helped me during my time in the corporate world & into my transition into self employment

Setting boundaries –

If you’re working for someone or even yourself, set clear boundaries between work and personal time

Don’t look at your phone when you’re with friends or your significant other

Whatever you’re working at most likely isn’t a crisis and can wait until the following day

When you leave the office or your desk, transition into your leisure time, make plans in the evenings so you can’t commit to extra work

You’re paid to work, you’re not paid to sacrifice every hour to provide shareholder value in your free time

Prioritise tasks –

When I’ve worked in an office

I’ve found myself ‘working’ for the sake of working

A majority of the time I wasn’t completing tasks that actually moved the needle

When you’re working, focus on high-impact tasks that you know will increase your productivity

Set time for these & allow time for completion

The more efficiently you can complete tasks, the more time you’ll have for personal activities

Take Breaks & saying No –

As close as we are to the AI revolution that will transform the labor market forever

At the time of writing, people aren’t yet robots

Hustle culture has been glamorised over the last 10 years

Work every waking hour & then do it all again until you have one million dollars

I’m a supporter of working hard & chasing your ambitions

But you don’t need to sacrifice every part of your livelihood to get there

Allow your time to relax, to do things you enjoy like & if someone is asking to much of you

Learn to say no

It’s one of the most liberating skills you can have

You’re not letting anyone down

You’re prioritising your own life

Social Balance

Social connection is the foundation of our lives as people

Sharing moments with friends, creating traditions & enjoying a laugh are what make life worth living

But not all friends are created equal

Going through your 20’s you’ll realise people might be on a different path than you

Which is a vital part of maturing

Realising the only friends you have don’t have to all come from the same high school as you

You’ll nurture old friends, make new ones & find completely different ones through different avenues in your life

Here are some tips for balancing the social side of things

Quality over Quantity –

Invest time into quality relationships you care about

Rather than spreading yourself too thin

With friends, I’ve always believed less is more

You should always feel energised and excited to see your friends

Try and plan activities around things outside of drinking

Cooking meals together, doing physical activities or planning trips away are all great options here

Make time for loved ones –

No one is ever too busy to visit their family

Living in a different city can sometimes put a geographic roadblock between you

But If you can’t see them physically

At least make an effort to call or communicate in some way

Your family is the only family you’ll ever have outside a marriage

Nurture those special relationships with grandparents, cousins & in-laws

People won’t be around forever, and you’ll only realise this when they’re gone

I always try to see my Nonna & Nan at least once or twice every month

A few hours in a month can mean the world to them

Join communities –

For most of my life in Melbourne, I grew up playing AFL locally

After realising I didn’t have a much future in the sport due to lack of ability

I quickly lost interest and motivation in playing

For some time I didn’t have a ‘community’ to which I belonged too

I’d always enjoyed being involved in some sort of sporting community

So I stepped outside my usual zone of comfort and tried something I was a complete rookie in

The increasingly popular, BJJ or Brazillian Jiu Jitsu

There was a great gym nearby (https://melbournejiujitsuacademy.com.au/ if anyone wants a place in Melbourne) so I thought I’d go down and see if I liked it

I quickly became obsessed not only with the physical challenge that it provided

but the community there

every week connecting with more and more people who were there for the same reason as me

To stay fit and connect with other people

I haven’t made as many new friends over a 12 month period

Guys and girls of all ages, nationalities & backgrounds

finding commonality between us all in between trying to strangle each other

I loved it, & it taught me a good lesson in finding and belonging to a community wherever you may be

It might not be BJJ, but whatever sport, hobby, instrument or behaviour brings you joy.

Find other people who enjoy similar things

Use Reddit or Facebook groups to see if there is anything locally

Personal Development

Something I’ve taken a personal interest in over the last 5 years is personal development

How can I be better than yesterday?

I’ve become very obsessed with what small, compounding actions can have over a long enough time horizon, Similar to investing

Small habits like reading, learning new skills, or trying new things have all benefitted my development dramatically

Here are ways to accelerate how you can develop personally

Continuous Learning –

This is the premise of always being open to learning

Even people at the absolute top of their craft always have things to learn

Michael Jordan didn’t stop training when he won a championship

Neither did Simone Biles after she’d won her first gold medal

You don’t have to solely devote your life to one skill, hobby, craft or sport

Make time for both personal and professional endeavours that bring you fulfillment

Set time for both of these and enjoy the benefits of developing

Reflect & adjust –

Developing as a person will force you into places that you might not succeed at

What’s important is that you can always reflect on where you are in life & make changes accordingly

You shouldn’t give up the moment things get hard

but you should recognise when any personal or professional goals are becoming toxic to your wellbeing

Always strive for what you want, but don’t be afraid to adjust your sails if the wind is blowing you way off course

Self-care –

This one can take many forms

If it means lighting a candle & doing a nightly skincare routine, Fantastic

If it means going for a walk alone with your headphones on, fantastic

Self-care is giving yourself time to digest, think & evaluate in a world that is full of stimulation

Some people prefer meditation, while others go for a run, read or do their favorite hobby

whatever it is, make time in the week for things that put a smile on your face

There is a direct correlation between people who become unhappy & how much time they spend doing the things they enjoy.

Health

Your health is something you take a little for granted during your 20’s

Recovery is quick, your body performs it’s best & you can train very hard towards your goals

Your ability to deal & recovery from injuries is also in its prime

What’s important during these years is setting the foundation for the years to come

Much like the compounding effect of personal development

The more you do now, the easier, healthier & better your body will feel

Disclaimer: Your aim isn’t to be the perfect physical specimen

It’s to exist in a body that allows you to live the life you want with limited inhibitors

Exercising regularly –

Incorporate physical exercise into your daily routine

30 minutes a day of walking, running, swimming, pickleball, gym, pilates or whatever gets you out there and sweating

Will allow your body to operate at its peak

Modern living allows us to be a lot more sedentary

Sitting longer at desks, commutes & to relax

Daily exercise is a great way to counteract this

My usual goal is to sweat once & to get over 10,000 steps each day

It can’t be done 365 days a year, but if you can do it 85-90%, you’ll be feeling good

Eating and nutrition – 

Health isn’t just about the way your body moves, but the fuel you give your body

Look, I won’t pretend to be a nutritionist,

But some basic rules for eating will go a long way for how you feel & the energy you have

I try to avoid eating processed foods everyday

I like eating whole foods like vegetables, protein, fruits, grains & carbs as much as I can

They make me feel full of energy and allow my body to function the way I want

But

I also love eating pasta & having a sweet treat most days

The Ying & Yang of these two (The latter being in moderation) is what allows me to operate optimally each day

You don’t have to look like a bodybuilder

But you should aim to fuel your body that allows you to live & do all that you want

Adequate Sleep –

The hidden superpower

Sleep

If you can aim for 7-9 hours every night

Keeping your bedtime and waking up time relatively consistent

You’ll be operating optimally and allowing your body adequate time to recover each day

I try and create a sleep optimised room when I’m at home (cold temperature, darkness etc)

and slowly I’m reducing the hours I spend on my phone before bed (Work in progress)

Financial Balance –

During my 20s I’ve never had more than $30,000 in savings in my bank

That’s been a conscious decision

I’ve primarily spent it on things like travel, having a car, investing, food, friends etc

In today’s age, there is pressure to save for a house, wedding, or any other adult-related responsibilities

For me, those things will be great one day,

But currently, they aren’t my primary concern

Being smart with your money in your 20s can be not spending $400 on a night out every week, shopping online weekly or eating out every night

Among other things, obviously

It doesn’t necessarily mean you have to put a deposit down on a house the day you turn 25

Here are the tips that have helped me financially over the last 5 years

Budgeting –

You don’t have to be an Excel budgeter tracking every cent that you come into contact with

But it is good to understand & allocate money to different areas of your life

So you still have money to put away each month

When I worked in the corporate world, I got paid monthly

Which can make your life luxurious for 3 weeks, and a battle for the last week

To ensure I didn’t spend a large chunk of that lump sum as soon as it came in

I will do a longer post for this, but this method allowed me to save $2350 every month after all my expenses

A small caveat here is my rent was abnormally cheap due to a lovely greek landlady who didn’t believe in rent increases

I had separate accounts for different areas of life to simplify things (eg an account for rent & bills, an account for food, an account for fun or leisure.

Some months you may spend more in certain areas, that’s a given

But the more you can use this budget as a guide, the more likely you’ll hit whatever savings goals you have in front of you

Avoid debt –

This one seems easy but I’ve heard horror stories of people going into debt for truly absurd reasons

Holidays, brand new cars & or a new handbag, don’t warrant taking on debt

Taking loans for businesses & rental properties I can understand if they are calculated risks

However, this isn’t free money, you will have to pay it back eventually with interest on top

If you are taking on debt, do it responsibily

If you can avoid taking it on completely, you will sleep a little easier at night

Plan for the future –

This segways well into future posts

but part of having financial balance is planning for the future

The future I would define as 6 months to 3 years ahead

I know many people who live unsustainably and fall into the trap of living paycheque to paycheque due to their mid week choices

This is asking for stress down the line when you can’t do the things that you want too with your time

whether that be traveling, where you want to live, to pursue your own opportunities like starting a business or trying something new

You always want to have some money to away each week/month that you can slowly accumulate towards an end goal

If you’ve made it this far, I appreciate you reading this blog & hope you got something from it

I want to share the ideas I’ve accumulated over my lifetime and share with anyone who wants to find out more

If there’s anything you’d like me to write about, leave a comment & i’d love to dive deeper into it

More to come

LB

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Response to “An unhelpful Guide to your 20’s Part 1”

  1. David Danks

    Wise words from a wise man. This is special.

    Like

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