Lucas's Blog

People are so scary

Standing there not saying anything

The one look scan, look back down at their Instagram feed

They’ll look up and down at you without ever acknowledging your existence.

It is an awfully strange defense mechanism we use as humans.

We’ve all had the experience

Meeting a new group of people

Asking a stranger for help

or waiting in line to buy a coffee

Most of the time will act too busy or pretend to be in their own world

To avoid any perceived social awkwardness

I don’t want to delve into why we do this, because frankly, that is time not well spent

I want to advocate for talking to thy neighbor

Does that mean climb your fence and talk to the person you see over there?

Yes & no.

Talking to your neighbor has created countless moments, opportunities & happiness for me throughout my life.

Let me clarify

Your neighbor could be your physical home address neighbor

But it could also be:

The person sitting next to you on a flight

The person waiting in line at a restaurant you’re at

The person sitting opposite you at the hostel breakfast

It’s anyone you feel that lump in your throat to speak with

Will this be awkward?

Will they think I’m weird?

Would I rather stay in silence?

The answer to all three questions is it doesn’t matter

I find myself employing this talk-to-thy-neighbour technique more when I travel

Less when I’m at home

To get through that initial awkward 4 seconds can lead to a lifetime friendship

We are social creatures as humans

We’re not meant to sit there in a room all looking at our phones

pretending we don’t understand what’s being said

We want a connection with one another

How can I do this?

One of the best ways I’ve found to break down any social barrier is a smile

A smile doesn’t require a language to understand it

But it immediately relaxes people when they see a big one

It signals, that this person is friendly & may want to interact

When I meet people I always try and unload a smile on them

I’ve found that the subsequent interactions are more positive once things have started with a smile

Secondly, try and listen more than you speak.

We are all selfish creatures by design, it keeps us alive.

But the magic in connecting with someone you don’t know is to listen

You already know all the stories you have, so why not stop and listen to this person’s experience

Ask questions you’re genuinely interested in, close your mouth

Let people communicate what makes them happy in life, then add in conversation where appropriate

You will be astonished at how people perceive you just by having the respect of listening

Thirdly, be brave!

For a long time, and even today I sometimes get anxious about talking with new people

My fear greatly subsided when I realized

If this doesn’t go well with this person, I’ll probably never see them ever again

A single smile + hello + how are you combination can open doors you didn’t even know existed

Think about some of your best friends in your life

One day they were strangers to you, but by sheer fate & luck you chose to interact with them

and as they say, the rest is history.

The more I talk to new people, the more I find I enjoy it.

Everyone has a unique story, something new I don’t know or something I don’t agree with.

But that’s what I love, to be open-minded is to live

I want to know why people think like they do, and what has influenced them

Plus as a positive side note

Small conversations can make the day of a recipient

That convenience store operator

Those old gentlemen sitting on the park bench

That mother sitting with her new baby in the mall

It doesn’t have to be a groundbreaking conversation about time & space.

But sometimes a genuine interaction with another human can make someones week.

Talk to thy neighbor, whether it be your physical one or someone merely in close proximity to you.

We would all be better off sharing our ideas rather than staring blankly at one another.